“I saw an angel in the marble and I carved till I set him free” – a Michelangelo quote that would be etched in my mind as I started on my new journey in sobriety. A journey that, at first, would reveal the painful truth about myself and then reveal the genuine beauty and generosity of others. Finally with all my desperation and vulnerability revealed and all my substantial failures confessed, I could be free. Free to have others lead me, free to have others teach me, free to start over.
The album, Real Love, is in part about that spiritual journey and in part about the rediscovery of music and art. I wrote these songs to help me heal and to help me grow. “Emotionally insecure, wrought with fear, anger and self-doubt…all of it, buried under an ego designed to deceive and manipulate the truth of who I was to others and to myself” – this is the harsh and critical self-analysis where the story of Real Love begins.
Addiction and alcoholism defined almost my entire adult life. They were the tools I would use to self-medicate from a disease I didn’t know existed, or at least one that I couldn’t dare admit to having. A disease that eventually, would destroy, from the outside in, everything I ever knew or cared about. My family, my friends, my career, until it had nothing else to destroy but me. By the end of the chaos, with everything and everyone that was ever important to me, injured and gone, I was left with one critical question. How do I move on from here?
The answer was one step at a time with the encouragement and generosity of friends. The potential that my story could perhaps help others, as others had helped me, fuelled me as I embarked on this recording project to tell my story. Not a story about rags to riches or infamy to greatness but just one of hope. For all those that have or still wander the depths of chaos and despair, the self-destructive calamity that is addiction, as I have, there is a way out of that darkness, there is light, there is hope. There is that angel in all of us. This is my story of Real Love.
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